Today I’m sick.
I got very bad heartburn, flatulence, diarrhea and doctor said it is because of irregular eating schedule, eating spicy food (that’s why I don’t eat spicy food) , and doctor said there are possibly bacteria infection in my digestive system.
When I woke up this morning I ran to bathroom because my stomach hurt 😦 I got diarrhea again. I had to do bedrest so it not becoming typhoid-fever. Today maybe I will have to go back to doctor again. The medicine will finish today but the symptoms still happen..
When I finish in the bathroom, it was already 9 a.m which is the time that our church begin. I didn’t make it to the church. I feel very sorry to God not for coming again this Sunday to church, I know there will be another church schedule at 11 but it will be end at 1 pm. And I have promise at that time 😦 ………..
So I decide to pray to God , asking sorry not to coming, trying to express what I feel until now. My sickness, problem in office, home, talking about what happen lately with my family, boyfriend. Everything.
I’ve rarely had a long talk with God. I always busy, and if I pray, I only said things like Thank you God for food, for today, bless us.. just like that.
Today I told him everything I’ve been up to. My plan, my family, my condition. And somehow I knew I maybe push myself too hard these days.
I forgot that I have Him… I think everything by myself, then I got stressed out.
I’m trying hard to look good, but it’s only on the outside.
I sometimes want to more slim, reducing weight, look perfect, have a good job, have so much money,
I feel so tired of rent a house move from this house to other house,
Sometimes disappointed thinking why my family is not like other family…
I think problems can be solved if I have so much money…
But its wrong.
It all doesn’t matter. Money……is only a number…….. amount. It will never satisfy you..
It is nothing compare to your life. Never choose money than life.
He said to me that my life is the most valuable, my health, my heart, my passion, my loyalty, confidence… all the good inside is that matters.
I totally forgot Him!!!!
I don’t care about what God thinks of me!!!
I don’t have to be perfect.
I don’t have to be rich,
I don’t have to be in a perfect family,
I don’t have to be slim,
I don’t have to solved problem myself,
I don’t have to always do a great job
I am not perfect…
I have You… and You love me unconditionally..
You can solve everything.
From now on. I know Your love will heal me…. I have to be more confidence in myself, my body, my feelings, because I have You in my life. I have a guarantee that You will always be with me, through all my problems and help me to be a winner. I am the most precious in your eyes. thanks God…
To all of you who read this blog, I want to say that He loves you too.
Jesus loves everyone, that’s why He even die for all human sins.
If you lack of confidence, if you think you are in a wrong family, if you think that you are very sick, you hate your life, you are poor. Go to him. Talked with Him. He is your creator.
All that matters is not your problem. God creates You, He know what you’ve been through. You just need to talk…… and then you will realize. The problem is happen because of us, because we think so much about us, we are a selfish creature. We think we can do all things. Well.. we can’t!!!!
But He can!!! So. start praying.. He is a good Father… He always be.. and when nobody care about you, He still cares…
I remember one quote… ” God is more concerned with your life, with you, rather than your problems.”